Time has flown! As another year draws to a close, I hope you managed to navigate the pandemic with grace.
The shutdowns have provided an opportunity to evaluate what is really important and meaningful in life. It has raised questions about the meaning of freedom of choice and those things that restrict us. These past couple of years have effectively changed the world and our relationship with it.
Thankfully we leave a year of changing currents and in 2022, move into a year where the energetic themes are more harmonious and companionable. Themes for 2022 are about working together in harmonious service and with loving hearts. But there will still be a few unpredictable events, especially with Pluto and Uranus stirring the pot. Be prepared for a few shake-ups.
One blessing of this chaotic time is that people are evaluating their lives for what is important, and what is meaningful, and what they really want to do that makes their hearts sing and fills them with vitality. I have been engaged in this inner reflective work as well.
So often we find ourselves in some form of obligation, living, acting in a way we think will please others, doing our part without question, feeling obligated to do what’s right, what others expect or others think is right.
I am no different. Last summer, I published my first book in the Chronicles of a Fractured Soul series. Book 2 is complete and ready for the pre-publishing phase and I’m halfway through writing Book 3. I love writing. The words come from another part of me and flow through my fingers. I never know where the plot will go because another source is guiding the story. The series is a metaphysical-visionary fantasy – more than just a simple fantasy story with a single storyline. Instead, each character has his or her own agenda and complications. They come together to solve or hinder the solving of a conflict in the world of Gea between the Healers and the Droc’ri sorcerers. My publisher informed me that marketing the book has been a challenge. It doesn’t fit in traditional categories. They encouraged me to write something more traditional. But I don’t know what that means. And it raises the question: do I follow my own inner guidance, and allow to flow the wisdom from a higher source? Or do what someone else says?
Before the book was published, I was told I needed to use a pen name for the fantasy series. What a great place to hide from the world! But then rose another question:: who am I? I felt split. I already know I’m kooky, and off-planet a lot, so how did I reconcile with an alter personality? Did I make a website, and alternate identities on social media? While I understood the logic of a pen name from the Amazon algorithms, I had trouble embracing it. I have enough trouble staying in one consciousness. Two is too much! I did follow the publisher's guidance and published under a pen name from what I was called in my childhood.
But… I have a workbook that goes with Book 1. It has legends from the world of Gea and practices to connect with the spirit in all things and other information. I was told I should not use the pen name for that guidebook, even though it is narrated by the Healer heroine of the series. The number five energy of 2021 again pulled me in two directions.
This is the existential question we all face. Do we have the courage to follow our inner guidance, despite what others say?
The most current challenge I face is to stop hiding. I chose to publish my book with a publisher, thinking that they would do the promotion for me. Well, that illusion has been burst! Getting my book out into the world lies squarely on my shoulders. My fears of being visible, becoming known, sharing the vulnerable parts of myself stared me in the face; fears that are the result of lifetimes of persecution for my talents.
How many of you hide who you are because you instinctively know it’s not safe to speak up? Or share your wisdom, speak from your heart and be different? What are your favorite ways of hiding? Mine is procrastination and looking for someone else to do it. Then I listen to other people who are in the public eye and think I’m not good enough, that they communicate more eloquently, or that I don’t need to say anything because they are doing a better job. These are all ways of hiding, keeping small, and invisible.
Another blessing of this pandemic has been to raise the question: What do I really want? Not the pressure others put on you for what they want you to be, do, or what serves them. This brings up a complementary set of fears. What if I offend someone by saying "no" I don’t want to do that or see that person? Will they still accept me? What if I make a fool of myself, or worse, make them angry, by speaking up? What if I make a wrong choice and my venture fails?
I wrestled with the “proper” way to get visible by using social media and posting all the time. However, actions speak louder than words. I am great at borrowing another’s energy and enthusiasm to get started, but then I fizzle out. You’ve probably noticed. I email very irregularly. It’s not that I don’t respect and care about you. It’s just that I believe there are other ways to communicate and stay connected than filling your inbox and social feeds with trivia. I know I don’t like a deluge of emails. I assume you don’t either. But then, maybe that’s just another way of hiding. A friend of mine reminded me that perhaps I was doing what I thought I should be doing, not what I really wanted and what aligned with my natural energy flow and talents.
Again, I retreated to contemplate who I am and the life I want. The interesting thing about self-discovery is that you never really know yourself. Understanding yourself is as fleeting as catching a glimpse of yourself as you disappear into the fog. You may get an astrology or Human Design reading and receive a big ah-ha. Life goes on, then you learn something else about yourself. Bit by bit the fog thins, and you begin to realize that who you thought you were and who you really are is very different. And the new person is more intriguing, magical and mystical, than the old generic one who tried to fit in and please everyone because that was the safe way. And with each new awareness, you get one step closer to understanding your soul’s plan for this life and why you are here. The natal charts help to interpret your soul’s plan by letting you know what tools you have to work with.
Dominant in my life plan is bringing change to our world, through creative self-expression. I have a pack of seven planets in the house of transformation. Shifting consciousness, especially around freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences, energy management, and creating magic in life is a major part of my soul’s agenda.
I also came up with a new term: Child Spark. This means reconnecting to that child-like innocence, awe, and wonder of our lives and the world we live in.
Think back to a time in your childhood where you felt carefree, happy, thrilled to be alive, awed by the wonders all around you. Let that rejuvenating life force fill you. Allow your perspective of the world to become magical. All the chaos we live in becomes like a story playing out before us. And we, as the magical creators we are, can change the narrative to make for a happy outcome.
By now you’re saying, “What planet are you from? That’s not possible. Get real.”
And this is exactly why reconnecting the Child Spark is so important. Think about how excitement and joy have eroded from your life. Perhaps you’ve gotten more serious. Life weighs on you. You carry responsibility and obligation on your shoulders like a heavy sack of stones, causing you to walk stooped over. Ask your inner child what he or she would like. Let her out to play.
Another consequence of the pandemic has been to face mortality. As I draw closer to my expiration date, resources such as time, health, energy levels, and freedom to choose what I do, when and how, become more valuable.
I’ve decided that I want to simplify. This is also a big challenge for me. I have Jupiter conjunct my Sun so whatever I think about or do expands, (such as a fantasy series with at least four books.) Things get complicated and soon, overwhelming. Then I get tired and say, “Forget it.” I hope that by simplifying, I can manage my energy more effectively and create more consistent patterns. (Who am I trying to kid? I have Uranus conjunct my Sun along with all the inner planets!) But if I don’t try, I’ll never know.
Simplifying will help me sort out obligations from what I desire. Still not an easy task because these patterns are so deeply embedded. And there is a practical reason to simplify, as well. As I mature, I begin to realize that running around like crazy, juggling multiple tasks, and having ten irons in the fire depletes my energy. It is more efficient to manage just a few projects wisely.
As we close out 2021, a year of turbulence and change, I want to invite you to see where you live in obligation, where you have given up your freedom because you think you should. What alternatives can you create where you feel alive, joyful, and satisfied?
The gift of life is more than material things. It means love, friendships and family, or time to create, or health. Ask yourself, when your expiration date arrives, what will be your greatest creative accomplishment?
On that note, I wish you a peaceful, harmonious, and magical Christmas and New Year.
PS
Even though my creative writing is a priority, I still enjoy sharing my wisdom and insights with you, so you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your challenges, and how you fit into the world.
I am working on creating a video series about the planets and plan to offer mini workshops after the first of the year to interpret what that planet means to you and how it influences your life. The first one will be on the planet Uranus, the planet of freedom. I’ll let you know when I post the series.
I am also available for private sessions. I have simplified my offering to a Soul Purpose reading/ coaching/ activation session and my latest tool, Light Language weaving and activation. My intention is to support you in your transformation, awaken your inner compass and help you remember who you are. You can learn more about these on my website, www.elainec.com.
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